Herkesi, her \u015feyi b\u0131rak\u0131p gidemezdim, yapamazd\u0131m, yapamam.\u00a0<\/p>\n
B\u00fct\u00fcn geceyi a\u011fl\u0131yarak ge\u00e7irdim. Sabah uyand\u0131m. Okula gitmek i\u00e7in haz\u0131rland\u0131m. Can\u0131m s\u0131kk\u0131n oldu\u011fu i\u00e7in sivil gitmeye karar verdim. Biliyordum bu yasakt\u0131 ama hi\u00e7 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmedim. \u00dcst\u00fcme siyah kap\u00fc\u015fonlu h\u0131rkam\u0131, siyah ti\u015f\u00f6rt\u00fcm\u00fc, siyah Jean pantolonumu giyip ayakkab\u0131 olarak ta siyah spor ayakkab\u0131 giyip \u00e7\u0131kmak i\u00e7in a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 indim.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Annem ve babam kahvalt\u0131 yap\u0131yordu.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Babam; Sude gel yemek ye konu\u015fal\u0131m.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Dedi. Duymamazl\u0131ktan gelip \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131m. D\u0131\u015far\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131mda derin bir nefes al\u0131p verdim. Kulakl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 takt\u0131m, kap\u00fc\u015fonumu kafama ge\u00e7ip, elimi kap\u00fc\u015fonlumun cebine koyup y\u00fcr\u00fcmeye ba\u015flad\u0131m.\u00a0<\/p>\n
On dakika i\u00e7inde okula varm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Direkt s\u0131n\u0131fa gidip s\u0131rama ilerliyordum. \u0130\u00e7imde bir his vard\u0131 sanki herkes bana bak\u0131yordu. Kap\u00fc\u015fonumun alt\u0131ndan s\u0131n\u0131f\u0131n i\u00e7ini incelercesine bakt\u0131m. Herkes bana bak\u0131yordu.\u00a0 \u015ea\u015f\u0131rd\u0131m ama yerime ge\u00e7tim.\u00a0<\/p>\n
G\u00f6lge; Sude g\u00fcnayd\u0131n!\u00a0<\/p>\n
Ben kulakl\u0131\u011f\u0131ma \u00e7alan m\u00fczi\u011fin sesini k\u0131s\u0131p g\u00f6lgeye dik dik bak\u0131p :”g\u00fcnayd\u0131n” demeyi ba\u015fard\u0131m.<\/p>\n
Borada geldi ve yerine yani yan\u0131ma oturdu. Bana bak\u0131yordu hissediyordum ama ben bakmad\u0131m istemedim.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Hoca s\u0131n\u0131fa girmi\u015f. Herkes aya\u011fa kalkm\u0131\u015f. Kulakl\u0131k hala kula\u011f\u0131ma tak\u0131l\u0131 oldu\u011fu i\u00e7in hocan\u0131n geldi\u011fini duymad\u0131m. Kafam cama d\u00f6n\u00fck oldu\u011fu i\u00e7in g\u00f6rmedim de. Kolumu biri d\u00fcrtt\u00fc bakmad\u0131m, bir daha d\u00fcrtt\u00fc bakmad\u0131m, yine d\u00fcrtt\u00fc<\/p>\n
Ben; Ne var ya!\u00a0<\/p>\n
Kafam\u0131 kald\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131nda herkes ayakta bana bak\u0131yordu. Kafam\u0131 sa\u011fa do\u011fru e\u011fdim ve \u00f6\u011fretmeni g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. Kulakl\u0131\u011f\u0131 hemen \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131m.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Hoca; Oo Sude han\u0131m sonunda sesimi duymay\u0131 ba\u015farm\u0131\u015fs\u0131n\u0131z.\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Dedi.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Ben; Hocam pardon ne duydum ne g\u00f6rd\u00fcm geldi\u011finizi.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Hoca; \u00fcst\u00fcn nerde<\/p>\n
Ben; kirlendi<\/p>\n
Yalan s\u00f6yledim yoksa kabul etmeyeceklerdi<\/p>\n
Hoca; tamam zaten son kez yap\u0131yorsun bu hatay\u0131<\/p>\n
Dedi. \u015ea\u015f\u0131r\u0131p hocaya bakt\u0131m. Anneler geliyor ya birazdan dedi.\u00a0<\/p>\n
S\u0131ray\u0131 itip, “NEEE!!”\u00a0 diye sesli bir \u015fekilde sordum. Hoca \u015fa\u015fk\u0131n ve sinirli bir \u015fekilde bana bak\u0131yordu.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Ben; hocam kusura bakmay\u0131n isterseniz puan\u0131m\u0131 k\u0131r\u0131n isterseniz disipline sevk edin ama bu derse giremem<\/p>\n
Dedim ve s\u0131n\u0131ftan \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131m.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Zil yakla\u015f\u0131k otuz dakika sonra \u00e7ald\u0131. Boray\u0131 ve g\u00f6lgeyi bekliyordum. G\u00f6lge geldi ama Bora yoktu.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Ben; \u015eevval Bora nerede\u00a0<\/p>\n
Diye sordum.\u00a0<\/p>\n
G\u00f6lge; \u015eevval mi?\u00a0 Ne oluyor Sude sen bana ciddi olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n s\u00fcrece \u015eevval demezsin<\/p>\n
Dedi.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
Ben; bi\u015fey s\u00f6ylemem laz\u0131m.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Dedim. G\u00f6zlerim doldu o an. Bora alt s\u0131n\u0131flardan olan bir k\u0131zla yan\u0131m\u0131za geliyordu.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Bora; evet Sude dinliyorum\u00a0<\/p>\n
Dedi. Ben ve g\u00f6lge\u00a0<\/p>\n
Yan\u0131ndaki k\u0131za bak\u0131nca anlad\u0131 ve<\/p>\n
Bora; hee tan\u0131\u015ft\u0131ray\u0131m k\u0131zlar Cansu k\u0131z arkada\u015f\u0131m<\/p>\n
Dedi ve benim dolan g\u00f6zlerimden bir ya\u015f s\u00fcz\u00fcld\u00fc.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Ben; \u015eevval… Ben… Biz ta\u015f\u0131n\u0131yoruz bug\u00fcn.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Bu c\u00fcmleyi Bora’n\u0131n g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn i\u00e7ine baka, baka ve h\u0131\u00e7k\u0131ra h\u0131\u00e7k\u0131ra zor bitirdim.\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 … DEVAM EDECEK…\u00a0<\/p>\n